Which way?

Time was, there was only one way to go at the top of these steps - turn right at the top and head in to work. Now, since the awesome Just Frances  has rolled into town, I have two choices - right as normal for serious endeavours, but now also left for fun and frivolity.

Yes, the flat where my new found friend and partner in crime has taken up residence is right next door to where I work. I'll never have to cook again!

[Although I'm currently cooking my dinner - kedgeree - as I post, both of which are taking far longer than they should as a result. Perhaps if I stopped trying to multi-task I'd be more efficient?]

When I was a child...

I spoke as a child, but now that I'm adult - well, I'm pretty much still a kid at times. And what better time to be a kid than Halloween?

Never one to let work get in the way of good fun, this was me in the office today. Yes, I wore my witch's hat to work today. I confess I didn't wear it in the morning when I had external meetings, but for the afternoon it was on my head - and turning heads as people walked past, caught sight of me and laughed. Sometimes they even came back to make sure they did see what they thought they had.

To be honest, I'm not really sure why they were so surprised. I'm fairly daft at the best of times, and usually quick to give people a laugh at my expense. I don't believe in standing on my dignity - at least not when it's not really required. There are times, sure, when things need to be serious. But not all the time. And for those times, well, why not make people smile!

Anyway, it's Halloween. I've had justification to wear my witch's hat at work, without people asking why. I made people smile. What more could a girl ask for??

Times, they are a-changin'

As I blogged yesterday, it's getting towards that time of year again - autumn, winter, cold, fog, frost, Halloween, Bonfire Night, Christmas, New Year, snow, and did I mention cold?

It's also when it starts getting darker and, for the UK, when the clocks revert to GMT (or UTC as it now seems to be called). Changing my clocks set my mind to thinking about how time marches on, and how it changes the things around it: - weather, seasons, light, structures, views, fine wine, good cheeses, well cured meat (I'm getting hungry now, time to stop this list...) and me!

Regular readers to this blog will know I've been working through some stuff over the last couple of years. There have been times when it's been really hard and I've wondered how I'll cope. There have been days when even just getting up in the morning and facing the world has been a trial, and I confess at times melancholy won. I have been so sad at moments that I thought I'd never laugh again.

Fortunately, those times didn't happen too often, and when they did I knew I could always rely on my amazing friends to be there for me. They have been tolerant, supportive, loving, long-suffering, cajoling, sensitive, directive, understanding. They have been there. And for that I am truly, truly grateful.

But these last few months, I've been realising that I may just have managed to develop the new me, the more confident, happy, balanced, fun-to-be-with version. The model that doesn't need constant support and reassurance to be able to function effectively, that doesn't feel less than, that is complete in itself.

It hasn't happened suddenly. In fact it's kind of crept up on me and caught me by surprise. I think it was my recent holiday that cemented the realisation. I like me. I like my own company and I think I'm fun to be with. I like other company too, but I don't need it. I don't just cope or get by without it anymore, I live and love life as I find it and as it is. I no longer feel a let down at the end of a great evening out with friends when I go home to my (solo) flat and close the door on the world. I'm left with the happy glow, not the desperation of loneliness. I smile to myself more now. And I think I'm probably the better to know for it!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not happy all the time. I have bad days as well. But they're bad days like we all get - stuff going wrong, frustration, mistakes and cock-ups. They're no longer dark thunder clouds in my life, now they seem to be pretty much just a passing shower. I can carry an umbrella for that!

I still value my friends. My days are undoubtedly happier and more fun because of them. They add to the quality of light, love and laughter, and I wouldn't be without them. But hopefully it's less of a one-way street for them these days, that they feel there's some give and not just take from me, that they can remember again why we are friends in the first place.

So, yay me! Yay you! And thanks... xx

Fall back

Approach Of Winter by William Carlos Williams

The half-stripped trees
struck by a wind together,
bending all,
the leaves flutter drily
and refuse to let go
or driven like hail
stream bitterly out to one side
and fall
where the salvias, hard carmine—
like no leaf that ever was—
edge the bare garden. 

 I guess we're getting to that time of year again. Enjoy your extra hour's sleep tonight!

Friday nights are...

...cocktails night! Or at least they have been since the awesome Just Frances has been in town.

And tonight was no exception. We spent the evening, after a homecooked meal back at Frances new flat, down at the Junk Rooms - drinking delicious decadent cocktails, browsing the owner's new, old book purchases and generally just having fun.

A great way to spend the evening, and one which I'd seriously recommend any time you're in Stirling. Doesn't have to be a Friday night either. But if you're going to drop by, don't forget to give Frances and me a shout and we'll join you there!

And if that doesn't entice you, maybe the wallpaper in the ladies' toilets will...

Food, glorious food

Another set of reflections on my recently completed Italian holiday – this time about something that was a central feature to just about all of it, the food! Apart from the hotels and the travel, it was by far the biggest expense – and believe me, not one I begrudged. I do like my food, particularly good food – I was once asked what my favourite food was and I struggled to answer, other than to say anything as long as it's good. The only thing about food – apart from tripe and boiled cabbage – that I don't like, is a bad meal. I always feel cheated if I've eaten something and it hasn't been good. Doesn't matter what it is, provided it's tasty and well cooked, I'm a happy bunny.

And this holiday has been great for that. The food, on the whole, has been excellent. It's also not been cheap. I think the fact that the pound is so weak against the Euro has something to do with it. Also, eating in predominantly tourist towns will have played a factor too. In fact the only place that had relatively cheap food was Palermo. Cheap, that is, but very very good!!

My rule of thumb on holiday is to try to eat local foods as much as possible. I research in the guidebooks what the local delicacies are and try to find them. This time round I've done pretty well – cannoli, involtini, panelle, an arancine, cassata and pasta norma to name but a few. My other rule of thumb is never to eat in a place that has pictures on the menu, to avoid the places that automatically translate the menu into 4 languages and only to have the menu fixe if it's neither of the first two things!

I also tend to try out places recommended in the guidebooks. Which is in itself a funny experience. You turn up at the place, described as being a quiet place where the locals eat, forgetting that you yourself found it in a book with a print run of several hundred thousand and therefore, you're NOT going to be the only tourist there. No wonder the staff all look a bit bemused, and generally speak very good English (and German, and French...).

The flavours this holiday have been fantastic – tomato, mozzarella, ricotta, seafood, aubergine. And bread – lots of bread. Which leads me to believe that my wheat intolerance is indeed more psychosomatic than real, or at very least, linked to stress. It's no coincidence that after the ferry trip my stomach rebelled when it had been fine for the rest of the holiday. And I'm pleased that seems to be the case, otherwise I'd have missed all sorts of culinary delights – no pizza, no lovely Italian bread, no bruschetta, no (gasp) cannoli and no torte. It would have been a completely different holiday without the wheat!!

I didn't try everything – I gave the panini con la milza a miss, and the ice cream breakfast brioche (yes, really!). I confess I did have veal – and it was lovely. In my defence, it was already dead and it would have been a waste if I hadn't eaten it. Ok, not much of a defence...

There's also been plenty of wine – not in excess, but certainly in everyday quantities. And Limoncello, my new discovery of the holiday. And Almond wine, beautiful.

And yes, I am the size of a house now and will need to get back running again fairly soon to shed some of the pounds and inches I've doubtless gained. But it was worth, oh it was so worth it!

Secret Smiles

There are many reasons for a girl to have a secret smile to herself - private jokes, funny memories, silly thoughts. I've had a few myself recently, and this is the one I thought I'd share with you. (The rest I'm keeping secret!)

I've blogged before (many times!) about my awesome friend, Frances. As regular readers will know, she's been staying with me for a month or so while she found her feet here in Scotland, where she's moved to complete a Masters programme. She's a really amazing woman, and if you read her blog you'll understand why.

She's also been a fantastic flatmate - great company, easy to live with, a kindred spirit and partner in crime, and - more importantly - really, really neat! One might say obsessively so. Not me, obviously. I would never say anything as insensitive as that - at least not the first time I met a person. So, no matter what she says, my first words to her were not - 'My, you're a bit OCD, aren't you?'. [But if I had, her reply would probably have been something like - 'You can't be OCD. You can have it, but you can't be it'.]

Anyway...while I was away on holiday recently (did you know, I went to Italy the other week?), Miss Awesome looked after the flat and Cat for me. Now, I knew, because we'd agreed, that while I was away she would change my bed for me so that I had lovely fresh clean sheets to come home to. And while I was travelling I knew, because she posted on Facebook, that she had even gone so far as to iron aforesaid clean bedlinen. What I didn't know, and am finding out on a day by day basis, is that she did some other 'neatening' for me while I was gone.

Frances has moved out into her own place now but I find myself going round the flat with a secret smile on my face as I discover yet another thing she's tidied up for me.

Wonder what it will be next?