Sacrifice

At this time of year I confess I find myself doing a fair bit of soul searching. As I blogged last year , I have mixed feelings about Remembrance Day. Being a Quaker, I am philosophically opposed to violence and war. At least that's what the Peace Testimony is about.

But I do wonder sometimes if I'm being hypocritical. While I wouldn't take up arms against another, I have to admit that I do benefit from the fact that others have done it for me. That others have been willing to give up their lives so that I can have mine. So where does that leave me and my beliefs?

I guess it leaves me confused. As the years have gone by, and as I've thought more about it, I understand that Remembrance Day is not about the glorification of war, military and fighting, that it's a public atonement and thanksgiving for the sacrifices that have been made in our name so that we can continue to have the beliefs and freedoms that we do.

I've also grown to understand that war itself, while never a good or desirable thing, is sometimes necessary. Protection of a people against an aggressor is worthy. Fighting to overturn or resist oppression is right. Violence for its own sake, for land grabs or to impose your way of life on others isn't. I've come to understand that it's not the fighting or the war that's wrong, it's the reason behind it that matters.

So, this weekend when I have the great privilege and honour of laying a wreath at our local cenotaph, my heart will be easier than it's been in previous years My mind will be with those around the world who gave, and sadly still give, their all. And with their families too.  We will remember them - all.

When you are standing at your hero’s grave,
Or near some homeless village where he died,
Remember, through your heart’s rekindling pride,
The German soldiers who were loyal and brave.

Men fought like brutes; and hideous things were done;
And you have nourished hatred, harsh and blind.
But in that Golgotha perhaps you’ll find
The mothers of the men who killed your son. 

 

                                                                                Siegfried Sasson 

Mustn't grumble

No, really. I mustn't! I need to stop behaving like an angst ridden teenager and realise that life, on the whole, all things considered, at the end of the day, isn't half bad. Actually it's pretty damn fantastic. It's just that we, I get so caught up in the little things that irritate or annoy me that I forget how small they actually are. And how much I have to be thankful about.

A couple of conversations this week have reminded me of this. As a good friend suggests, when asked how I'm doing, I should really be saying 'Fantastic! Just wonderful, thanks.', instead of 'Not bad' or 'Fine'. Even 'Good' would be an improvement.

Because when you, I stop to think about it, my life is really great. I have a job that pays a good wage. I may not particularly like every minute of it, but at the same time, no-one is exploiting me, I don't get daily abuse in the course of it and I get a considerable degree of freedom to choose what it is I do, hour to hour and day to day. I have a safe place to come home to at night. I don't have to worry about what might be waiting for me when I open the door (apart from cat sick that is!). I can live without the constant fear of death or injury, rape or torture. I can express whatever views I want without fear of recrimination or oppression. I have my health and I have good friends and family who love and care for me. I don't have to worry about where my next meal is coming from or make the choice between a roof over my head or clothes on my back.

Sadly the same can't be said about all people, in this country and abroad. There are people who's lives are bad, stressful, unhappy, unsafe, poor and afflicted. We, I should remember that next time I find myself saying 'What a nightmare day I've had'. It's unlikely to be true - and I might just feel a bit happier and at ease with everything if I could remember that every once in a while.

I get by...

... with a lot of help from my friends.

If you've been reading my blog over the last few days, you'll know I'm back in Canada for Christmas. And having a lovely time with my big sister and her family. And it's been made extra special by the addition of a friend from elsewhere in the Pacific North West to the PoMo madhouse that is home for this couple of weeks. Sadly she had to go home today but we had a great time while she was here and it got me to thinking about all the amazing friends (of all shapes, sizes and types) I am lucky enough to have.

I have 'real-life' friends that I see regularly (and sadly not so regularly) - both new and old. I have rediscovered friends that I thought I'd lost touch but with but am slowly reconnecting with. I have work friends and play friends. I have virtual friends that I've never met but feel like I've known forever. I have family who are friends. I have many many friends.

And what they all have in common is that they're there for me - in reality, virtually, at the end of a phone, electronically - whenever I need them, sometimes when I don't even realise yet that I need them. Those of you who read my blog regularly will know that I am truly grateful for the friends I have, for the support they give me and for the joy they bring. Hopefully they don't feel it's all a one-way street. I sometimes worry that it might feel like that, but then again, I guess they wouldn't still be hanging around if they thought it was, would they?

So, thank you Frances for a fantastic addition to my already special holiday. Thank you big sis for inviting her to join us. Thank you all my friends for always being there for me. I really hope you don't find yourselves in the position where I need to return the favour, but if you do, I only hope I can be there for you as much and as well as you've been here for me. I love you guys.

Dedication

"Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."

Being a Quaker, I'm no big fan of military events, churches or pomp and ceremony, but I must admit today I was honoured to be part of our local Remembrance ceremony and lay a wreath on behalf of my work.

"When you go home tell them of us and say for your tomorrow we gave our today." 

 

Shout outs - inspirational women

I thought it was about time I stopped being quite so, well, self-absorbed on this blog and wrote about a few other folks who deserve special mentions for one reason or another.

First up is the very talented Gorjuss (aka Suzanne Woolcott), an artist from Glasgow who draws the most beautiful creations that just capture my heart every time I visit her online shop. I struggle every time, not to find something I like, but to decide which of the many gorgeous creations to buy. So far I'm the proud owner of a canvas print, several key rings, and the bookmark pictured above. And yesterday, as part of my 'be kind to myself' weekend, I bought another print. I can't wait for it to arrive. Those who read Suzanne's (and Mr G's!) blog will know that she's not had her troubles to seek, but she still manages to continue creating and to be upbeat and positive.

My next shout-out goes to another Etsy crafter and one of my online 'friends' who although I've never met her I feel I know really well and has helped me stay on the less grey side of life over the last few months. Kitty Pinkstars is one of the most positive and happy people I've ever had the privilege to know. I tell her often that she's an inspiration, and do you know what? Every time she's so genuinely surprised about it that I think I love her just a little bit more each time! Her blog is well worth a read and if you don't already follow it, sign up now - I guarantee you won't be disappointed. Whether you're looking for smiles and happiness or creative ideas, Kitty has it all. (And she makes really cute stuff too!)

Third place in the roll of Crafty Maneouvres honours goes to a new friend I got to know last year in very sad circumstances. Frances was married to a friend of mine at University who died very suddenly (and far too young) last year. I'd never met Frances before but we hit it off immediately (even though one of the first thing I said to her was to comment on her OCD tendencies as she reminds me!) and we've kept in touch ever since. She's been across and stayed at the flat a couple of times, including last time with her Mom which was great. I'm currently keeping my fingers crossed that her application to study at Stirling University next session is accepted and then I'll be able to see her in reality rather than just virtually across the ether. Despite everything that Frances is dealing with in her life, she's another of my friends who inspire me by their positive outlooks on life. Finding Joy is something that Frances has taught me to do, for which thank you! (I've also got to 'know' her sister through Frances and now follow her fabulous foodie blog, which comes complete with home-cooked recipe ideas. Yum!)

Fourth shout-out (and these are in no particular order, by the way) goes to my big sister. Someone I've always looked up to and wanted to be like. We had a spell, like all siblings, when we didn't particulary get on and we used to joke that provided we had the Atlantic Ocean between us, we were great together. Now we've kind of grown into each other and I hate the fact that she's several time zones, a 13 hour journey and several hundreds of miles away. But thanks to the internet and cheaper phone calls, we're probably closer than we've ever been and I have a really cool place to visit every now and then. As well as being my amazing big sister (for whose love, support and advice I am truly grateful), she's also a fantastic Mum, a wise and canny homemaker, a talented crafter, an entrepreneur, incredibly intelligent and amazingly determined. Over the last year or so she's been baring her soul in her Friday Forte blog posts as she battles her way through her rediscovery and attempts to deal with all the shit that life throws at us all. I may not always agree with what she writes, but I am never anything other than impressed by her willingness to tackle the world head on - and so far it looks to me very much like she's winning!! Go sis!

A clutch of shout-outs for my friends, at home and further afield, too. I am truly blessed by the wonderful friends I have. They've been such a support in particular over the past 18 months or so when my life turned itself upside down. And while this is a post about inspirational women, I'll sneak in a big thanks and hug to the guys too!! Couldn't have done it - or at least not so well - without you xx

Finally, no blog post about inspirational women would be complete without a huge enormous magnificent shout out to my wonderful Mum. She dedicated herself to being our Mum and for that I'm truly grateful. She's still there for me whenever I need her and every day something of what she taught me comes back to me and helps me through. My ability to cope with life, I'm sure, comes from her determination, her common sense and her practical approach to the world. She also taught me to cook, sew, knit, crochet, take photographs, love music, grow things and much much more. Thanks Mum. (Dad's pretty special too in case you're wondering!)

So, as I sign off to go to my Tango class I'll just take a moment to say thanks - and to be inspired! Oh, life is indeed good.

Reasons to be cheerful, part two

Speaks for itself really!


Thanks, guys xxx

The roads we travel

It's that time of year when everyone seems to be looking back at what's been and making plans and promises for the future. So I thought I'd join in too.

As many of my friends will know, 2009 has been somewhat of an eventful year for me. To be honest I'm hoping for a quieter time in 2010.

But in terms of a review, in 2009 I have:-

• become single
• moved house
• lost and gained a job
• got a new boss
• cried at the funeral of a friend
• been admitted to hospital as an emergency
• said goodbye to my feline companion of the last 17 years
• been on TV
• learned to snowboard and cross country ski (both after a fashion!)
• spent more weeks with my sister in one year than the last 10 put together (and enjoyed them!)
• made new friends and rediscovered old ones

I've also:-

• climbed a grade 6b (indoors, outdoors perhaps next year?)
• lost weight and got fit
• lost more weight and got ill
• put back on all the weight I lost in the first place
• started walking to work
• remembered that I like cooking
• travelled on a steam train and a paddle steamer
• laughed till I cried
• cried more than is good
• developed crows' feet round my eyes
• survived rumour and gossip
• bought a designer suit
  
• treated my sister to a girls' day out
• discovered Wii Fit and Singstar

I've learned:-

• that good friends are worth their weight in gold
• too much stress can make you physically ill (see hospital admission above!)
• being alone isn't the same as being lonely
• there is such a state as "too thin"
• being single at 40+ is harder than at 30
• exercise does make you feel better
• laughing at good jokes (or even bad ones) is good for the soul

I also know:-

• how to make a Cosmopolitan
• how to put on mascara properly (on the top and bottom of the lash)
• much more about climate change, sustainability and peak oil
• to look up more and see what there is above eye height
• that being an Aunty is a great job
• that my sister is one of my best friends

And as for 2010, my main aim is to have quieter time, and hopefully to be less high maintenance for my friends (thanks guys, for all your help and support this year). I also resolve to:-

• live life
• laugh more
• never act my age
• take more risks
• be as good a friend to others as mine have been to me

In fact, this pretty much sums it up. I don't want to look back later in life and wish it had been different.

See you next year.


If I had my life to Live Over - Nadine Stair

I'd dare to make more mistakes next time.

I'd relax, I would limber up.
I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously.
I would take more chances.

I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
I would perhaps have more actual troubles,
but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I'm one of those people who live
sensibly and sanely hour after hour,
day after day.

Oh, I've had my moments,
And if I had it to do over again,
I'd have more of them.
In fact, I'd try to have nothing else.
Just moments, one after another,
instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

I've been one of those people who never goes anywhere
without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat
and a parachute.
If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over,
I would start barefoot earlier in the spring
and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would pick more daisies.