Wednesday, 15 September 2010
One for sorrow, two for joy the rhyme tells us. And although I'm not hugely superstitious, until very recently I would get really upsetif I ever saw just one magpie. I would look round desperately for a second one, worrying that if I didn't see another one, that would be mean I was going to have a bad day. And quite often, when a second one didn't appear, my day would suck - of course, reinforcing my superstition about the damn magpies!
I know it's not rational. I know that a cat crossing my path or only seeing one magpie isn't what controls what happens in my day. But I also know, that how you feel about your day has a lot to do with how you will experience it. I'm sure I heard some research reported on the radio just recently about that.
I have an amazing online friend who never fails to impress me by her ability to be happy and to find joy in the tiniest things - even those that most of the rest of us would see as a pain. Her Facebook status today, for example, reads "Taking out the trash and surrounding myself with fun oomph and gusto!! ♥ Happy Wednesday guys! ♥". She always makes me smile, and every time I read something she's written, it challenges me to be happier about what is after all, the pretty straightforward, comfortable, un-angst ridden life I lead. (Another friends tells me I worry way too much, and I think he's probably right!).
So, one thing I've done is sign up for a Silliness course. It starts today and having had a look at today's exercise I'm itching to get started. I think I'm going to have to store the first few up to do over the weekend since I haven't been organised enough to get the supplies in that I need, but I promise to blog some of my silly outputs over the coming few weeks as I work my way through finding fun and laughter on a daily basis.
The other thing I've done is change my mindset about being 'one'. I blogged while I was on holiday about how hard it can sometimes be in a world that seems designed for two, and there's no denying that it can be hard at times. But it's also true that being 'one' isn't in anyway a deficit.
Being one is being strong. It's being independent. It's being self reliant. It's experiencing more and pushing out of your comfort zone. It's empowering, scarey, thrilling, rewarding. It's liberating too. I can do what I want to do, eat what I want to eat, watch what I want to watch, listen to what I want to listen to, go to bed and get up when I want (well, work notwithstanding!). Yes, I do have to cope with more of the crap by myself, but I also know that I can. And if I want it done a particular way, I don't have to hope that it happens like that, even if it does mean I have to do it myself.
Don't get me wrong. I would dearly love to have someone special to share stuff with, to help make the good times better and the bad times easier. But I don't need it. I am not 'less than' without someone else. I'd like to be a little bit 'more than' every once in a while too. But for now, I think I'm doing ok. Now, when I see a magpie on its own I don't panic and look for another. I just smile, say hello and think how amazing life as 'one' can be.
And in truth, although I may not have a special someone around just now - I do have lots of special people in my life who make me feel exceptionally loved. To them I say, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Know that you have helped me find the strength to see the world in this way xx