Wednesday, 15 September 2010


One for sorrow, two for joy the rhyme tells us. And although I'm not hugely superstitious, until very recently I would get really upsetif I ever saw just one magpie. I would look round desperately for a second one, worrying that if I didn't see another one, that would be mean I was going to have a bad day. And quite often, when a second one didn't appear, my day would suck - of course, reinforcing my superstition about the damn magpies!

I know it's not rational. I know that a cat crossing my path or only seeing one magpie isn't what controls what happens in my day. But I also know, that how you feel about your day has a lot to do with how you will experience it. I'm sure I heard some research reported on the radio just recently about that.

I have an amazing online friend who never fails to impress me by her ability to be happy and to find joy in the tiniest things - even those that most of the rest of us would see as a pain. Her Facebook status today, for example, reads "Taking out the trash and surrounding myself with fun oomph and gusto!! ♥ Happy Wednesday guys! ♥". She always makes me smile, and every time I read something she's written, it challenges me to be happier about what is after all, the pretty straightforward, comfortable, un-angst ridden life I lead. (Another friends tells me I worry way too much, and I think he's probably right!).

So, one thing I've done is sign up for a Silliness course. It starts today and having had a look at today's exercise I'm itching to get started. I think I'm going to have to store the first few up to do over the weekend since I haven't been organised enough to get the supplies in that I need, but I promise to blog some of my silly outputs over the coming few weeks as I work my way through finding fun and laughter on a daily basis.

The other thing I've done is change my mindset about being 'one'. I blogged while I was on holiday about how hard it can sometimes be in a world that seems designed for two, and there's no denying that it can be hard at times. But it's also true that being 'one' isn't in anyway a deficit. 

Being one is being strong. It's being independent. It's being self reliant. It's experiencing more and pushing out of your comfort zone. It's empowering, scarey, thrilling, rewarding. It's liberating too. I can do what I want to do, eat what I want to eat, watch what I want to watch, listen to what I want to listen to, go to bed and get up when I want (well, work notwithstanding!). Yes, I do have to cope with more of the crap by myself, but I also know that I can. And if I want it done a particular way, I don't have to hope that it happens like that, even if it does mean I have to do it myself. 

Don't get me wrong. I would dearly love to have someone special to share stuff with, to help make the good times better and the bad times easier. But I don't need it. I am not 'less than' without someone else. I'd like to be a little bit 'more than' every once in a while too. But for now, I think I'm doing ok. Now, when I see a magpie on its own I don't panic and look for another. I just smile, say hello and think how amazing life as 'one' can be. 

And in truth, although I may not have a special someone around just now - I do have lots of special people in my life who make me feel exceptionally loved. To them I say, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Know that you have helped me find the strength to see the world in this way xx


ACLmariners said...

Wonderful, wonderful, words. Enjoy the silliness - I look forward to updates.

ebbandflo said...

Brave, fighting talk lil' sis. One is fun, two is fun, three is fun, two can be hell, three can be not so much fun .... as you say, it's the mindset.
Have fun with your silliness (and thanks for the reminder - it will be my reward for wading thru inventory today).