Another one bites the dust

But fortunately it wasn't me. Although I did feel like it at various points during this morning's Balfron 10k race.

Actually, to be truthful, I did bite the dust at the end. I managed to stumble my way across the finish line, with a good spurt of speed for the last few metres, without disgracing myself and then promptly missed the bench I was aiming to sit on and fell to the ground in an unexceptionally ungainly manner. Just my luck that my first sports injury is a bruised behind, sustained after the sporting event itself!!

But the race was fun. Hang on, wait a minute, did I really just write that? It wasn't fun at all. It was 10km (6 miles) of torture. A bright sunny day and a start time of 11 am meant it was warmer than I'm used to running in and I was struggling with the heat and dehydration from quite early on. It was really noticeable when I got doused with a garden hose on the return leg and felt the immediate benefit of it. [Note to self to train when it's hot and hydrate well before my next race]. The beautiful rolling countryside around the Stirlingshire village of Balfron meant - sadly - hills. And lots of them.

It was a 'there and back' race, which with the hilly terrain was a torture. You know that the down hill you were enjoying on the way out would transform itself into an uphill for the return leg, and all you could do was slog up it.

But it truly was a beautiful location and the challenge of the hills did make it a 10k above the ordinary. And apparently I'm not the only one to think that. If you want to see footage of this year's race, try catching Sport Nation on BBC2 this week. I think I managed to avoid all the cameras but you never know. I'll be the one with the purple t-shirt and the tomato red face!

It has really brought home to me how much training I still need to do to be race fit. While my running pace is ok, my stamina and endurance need some work. If I'd been able to run all of the race, rather than walk sections, I would probably have got below my 60 minute target. As it was I managed a fairly respectable time of 1.01.26 and at the time I was pleased just to finish.

Regular readers will know that I only took up running last year and that this was only my second ever organised race. My first outing was at the Stirling 10k where I managed a time of just over 54 minutes. Lest you think I'm regressing, the Stirling 10k route is much flatter - and I think I probably had got my training more right for that one than this morning's attempt. But not one to be put off by challenges, regular readers will also know that I've signed up to do a marathon in October with the awesome Just Frances. This race was part of my training, as will be my next race in 4 weeks when I attempt my first ever half marathon. So far the furtherest I've run is 9 miles so I've got a bit of distance to build up yet.

And now for the shameless plug, I am of course not running the marathon solely for the pleasure of it. While the motivation was to keep Frances company, I've decided to use it as an opportunity to blackmail cash out of my friends, family and acquaintances for a good cause. You'll find the details on my JustGiving page - it really is as easy as point, click, open your wallet, repeat after me 'Help yourself'!. Go on, give it a try - you know you want to!!

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Moving on

Sometimes it comes time to move on. Sometimes you get a choice about it. Other times it just happens. Like shit does.

And when it just happens, there's not much more you can do than roll with it. You can try to fight against it but often that's just wasted effort. However much you want it to be different, chamber are you have no control over it.

But the truth is that you have some control. You have control over how you deal with it. Whether you embrace the change and make it more what you want or whether you let it wash over and engulf you. Sometimes that can be hard to see. Sometimes your control is very very small.

Me. This weekend I changed my hair style. Not much I know. But it was my choice. I could control it, and right or wrong, it was my decision. No-one else's.

So short hair it is. Until it grows back that is!


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Just when you thought it was safe...

...to put away your winter boots, down comes the snow again!

Or to be more accurate here in Stirling sadly, the sleet. I wouldn't mind so much if it was snow but this is just cold wet yuk. And I've had to cancel my day trip out. Still, it's the perfect excuse now to stay in and catch up on some DVD watching.

Hope the weather is better where you are.


STOP PRESS: The snow and sleet lasted all day into the late afternoon and then turned to rain. There's still snow on the hills this morning but it's nowhere near as cold today. It often snows at this time of year here I've found and it never lasts long, even when we have a heavy fall. It's almost like this is Winter's last hurrah, a reminder that even if she's gone for a few months now, she'll be back again to chill us all once more.


As regular readers know, I don't actually mind winter - I love crisp cold mornings when the frost nips your fingers and paints with diamonds across the world. I even love the snow - silent white blankets that muffle the world and brighten the night. It's just sleet and winter rain I can't stand!!


And if you're wondering, it was Sportsnight I was watching on DVD, courtesy of a good friend for my birthday. An awesome first out for Aaron Sorkin and many of the actors who went on to be West Wing regulars.


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Sugar and spice, and all things nice

 A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.

Coco Chanel 

According to the nursery rhyme, it's sugar and spice and all things nice that little girls are made of. And while we do get a better deal of it than the boys do with regard to ingredients, I think there's just a small chance that the creator of that rhyme might be underselling us. I far prefer Coco Chanel's definition.

But when you think about it a bit more, perhaps they're not saying such different things after all. One of the key parts, in my opinion, about being classy is being generous and gracious to other people (being nice) and a prerequisite to being fabulous is being willing to go a little bit more to the edge of your comfort zone and challenge yourself to be more than you otherwise thought you could be (the spice perhaps?).

I blogged yesterday about musing with a good friend on who we are and what we want. This is the same good friend who pointed me towards the importance of making the most of your life and your talents, and of going beyond what is comfortable. Part of our conversation on Friday covered both of these points - my friend was remarking on my seemingly never-ending desire to seek out new challenges (strange new worlds!) - and she wondered what that was about for me. Was this what I needed to do as part of the someone that I am, or was it part of me trying to work who that someone is?

I don't know the answer to the question, but I do know that she's right. I am always looking for new things to do, in particular things that stretch and challenge me. For example, I didn't just learn how to do beadwork for myself, I made it and sold it at craft fairs for a while. I decided to cure my fear of heights by learning to climb. And I haven't just taken up running as a way of keeping fit and active, I've already completed a 10k and have now challenged myself to a marathon this year. My birthday book (pictured above) from the awesome Frances really is so appropriate!!

I describe myself in my CV as someone who is always up for and energised by new challenges - and that's certainly true at work. I just didn't realise it was quite so true in my personal life too. As another friend recently told me, that might make it a bit hard to be with me - always pushing on to the next thing, not always enough time for anyone else.

That's certainly something my (second) ex-husband felt when it came to my work and the hours and focus I put into it. In the end it wasn't something he was prepared to come second to, and if I'm honest, I don't really blame him. It can't have been much fun.

But it is who I am and it's not something I can easily change. Or want to change. On reflection, I don't think I'm pushing the boundaries to find out who I am. This IS who I am. I love learning and discovering new things and always have done. I have an inquisitive mind and spirit. I push myself to try new things and to stretch myself because ultimately I want to be as big as I can be, to live up to the potential that I have inside me, to never stop wanting to know and to be more. We are only in this life for a very short time, I think we have a responsibility to make as much of it as we can. Complacency and self imposed limitations are not options we should accept.

"There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living."

Nelson Mandela, 1994 

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Happy days

Presents, as Queenie in Blackadder would say, I like presents. Or more accurately, pwesents! And this (long) weekend is jam packed full of them.

It started with my present to myself of a day off spent doing nothing. However, my doing nothing-ness did extend to shopping, when I bought myself these gorgeous cocktail glasses with the remnants of my Christmas money (Thanks Mum!) Now I really can entertain my guests in style with glasses worthy of my awesome jet lag curing cosmopolitans! Not to mention dirty Martinis.

I also have a package sitting waiting to be opened on my almost birthday on Monday and apparently another in the post/mail on its way here.

Then there's my visit home to see the olds on Sunday, which is guaranteed to produce a goodly stash of loot. And my birthday weekend trip to Edinburgh tomorrow/today with cocktails at Harvey Nicks to look forward to.

Plus tonight I've had a great time out with friends at an entirely unserious charity music quiz, with the added bonus of picking up some late Christmas presents too.

All in all, a happy weekend. Thanks guys, you've come up trumps again. What would I do without you?

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Thirsty work

Just a short post from Scotland's International Tango Festival here in Stirling. And we're having great fun.

Two workshops, one Milonga and a practice session down. Two more workshops, the Braveheart Ball and lots more practice still to go.

At the moment we're probably suffering a bit from overload. My feet are sore and my long suffering dance partner is doing well to put up with my occasional grumpiness caused by 'not being able to do it' frustration!

Anyway, rest over. Time to get back to the dancing. Frame, posture and embrace!

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Endolphins

This morning I found myself doing my Dorothy impression. No, not the click your heels 3 times, No Place Like Home kind of Dorothy, (that was earlier in the week) but the pounding on your own round empty playing fields type Dorothy as in that fabulous all time classic film, Gregory's Girl.

Yes, this morning I went out running again for the first time since September, and I managed a not too shabby 40 mins for 3.5 miles - not quite my best 10k pace, but certainly not bad for having had a 5 month break. It was a little bit wet under foot as you can see from the condition of my running shoes afterwards, but other than that it was an exhilarating way to start the weekend.

The endolphins are definitely flowing, and helping with the residual ruby slippers feeling that I ended the week with. So much so, in fact, that I'm seriously considering signing up today for the Loch Ness Marathon in October to 'run' alongside my good friend, Frances. The aim will be to finish the 26 miles, not necessarily to run them all - and while I'll be running for myself and to exorcise my own personal demons, I'll also, like Frances, be running for her late husband and my friend, Paul, who sadly died far too young before he could achieve his ambition of running a marathon before he was 50.

So I'm off now, while I'm still on my endorphin high, to sign on the (virtual) dotted line and then I'll settle down to enjoy the rest of my sunshine filled weekend.

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Shredded!

No doubt that's the way Cat's catnip mouse is now feeling, but to be honest it's the way I'm feeling as I drag myself to the end of the working week.

At least the mouse only had to suffer one night of mauling to end up in that condition. At least I don't get quite so physically mauled at work. Although sometimes it certainly feels like it.

Anyway, work is going to continue being crazy mad for the next couple of weeks so I apologise in advance if the blog gets neglected as a result. If all else fails I may just post pictures of the continuing adventures of Cat, the feline with no name.

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Making new friends

As some readers will know, up until just over a year ago I shared my little flat with my little old lady cat, Miss Kitty. She had been with me for almost 17 years and therefore constitutes the longest relationship I've had, not including family. When she died I was devastated and really felt the loss of her. Many of my friends said I should get a new one to replace her, but I just wasn't ready. I knew I would be at some point, but not straight away.

And now it's happened. I'm ready. And I didn't even know I was.

I checked my phone on Tuesday morning to find a text from the cattery Miss Kitty used to stay at. The fabulous Gwen had been sending me the occasional text over the course of the past 12 months with cats needing re-homing that she thought might be right for me. As I said, up until now I hadn't been ready. But when I got Gwen's text on Tuesday - very cleverly complete with this photo - I knew I was. A quick visit on Thursday confirmed it, and then tonight I brought my new boy home.

Right now we're still getting used to each other but I think we're going to be the best of friends. As you'll see, he seems to approve of his new owner and at least he's stopped pacing round the flat for long enough to sit on my lap.

I promise to keep you posted but for just now I need to go. Someone thinks I should be paying him more attention - how very male!!

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Minus one or plus one?

I've blogged before that it doesn't necessarily take two to tango. Well, I guess it does, solo tango woud be an interesting spectacle but probably not that, well, spectacular! But what I mean is that you don't have to be part of a fixed couple to do it. Early last year I discovered that there were classes in Argentine tango locally and, having challenged myself to take more risks and pick more daisies, I decided to go along to the class by myself.

I'm so glad I did. What I found is that I love tango. It's a dance form that it is dramatic, passionate, spontaneous yet disciplined, and above all deeply addictive. I've also found that it's a very social and sociable dance scene. Yes, it's couple based - it does take two to dance the tango. It's a lead dance and for that you need a leader and a follower - ie 2 people. But it's also a scene where everyone dances with everyone else. And, at least in our exclusive circle, everyone looks out for each other.

So, I've got a lot of pleasure from learning and dancing tango - and also from learning to let go and to follow someone else's lead. I've also got a new groups of friends. It does help that I managed to persuade a male acquaintance to come and learn too, and that he has become my dance partner - when he remembers to turn up that is! I suspect it also helps that we're not bad at the dancing either - even if we do say so ourselves.

But at the same time, it can be hard - and it has on occasions prompted some blue moments for me. I've also blogged before about how sometimes it feels like the world is made for two, for couples and that this is the normal way of things, that anyone on their own is somehow abnormal. Heading off to a tango class and not knowing if you'll have anyone to dance with can be like that and can make it hard to look forward to what should be a fun afternoon. Most of the time I can get over that feeling and turn up, have fun and be glad I went. Other times it's just too hard and I give in to the demons. But I'm getting better. Last weekend I felt like that but I still went. Last night's milonga carried the risk too, but again, I went. I was so proud of myself for doing it, and even better, I had a fabulous time - both the dancing and the company.

The theme for yesterday's 30 Day Challenge photo was 'Something that has had a big impact on you recently'. Needless to say, for me it was separating from my (now) ex-husband and striking out on my own. As I said there, fortunately, while it's still hard - by a huge margin now the good days outnumber the bad ones. Long may it continue. And long may I continue to enjoy my tango.

Watch this space in mid February for blog posts from Scotland's first International Tango Festival, happening right here in Stirling and which I'm going to book my tickets and workshops for today!

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Christmas comes but once a year...

...unless you're me that is.

I've just finished celebrating my second Christmas Day with my parents back here in Scotland. As regular readers will now I spent my first Christmas Day with my big sister, Mr Ebb and the Wee Guy out in Canada. So now that I'm back in the UK, it was time to catch up with Mum and Dad and open our remaining Christmas presents.

I got here last night. Mum cooked 2 lovely meals, Santa left me a stocking as well as the pressies from Mum and Dad, and all in all it's been a great Christmas part 2. No snow though - so just like my first Christmas really!

I am worried, however, about my choice of presents. And this is no reflection on my parents or their taste, they gave me what I asked for. And what was that? A pair of slippers and a slow cooker (as well as some great books, the obligatory Dilbert calendar and a really infuriating puzzle ball!) - hmm, is that middle age I hear calling to me from around the corner? Fortunately they also gave me £30, so tomorrow I'm rushing out to spend it on Uggs or a down payment on a ticket to T in the Park with the rest of the yoof!

Meantime, I'll just salivate over the recipes for Sticky Ribs, Lamb Shanks and Pork in Cider. Yum! Wearing my cosy warm slippers of course, and congratulating myself on my lower carbon cooking choice. Next year, a pipe!

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Pooped

Another of my resolutions for 2011 is to take more exercise. It is somewhat ironic that while 2010 was the year I took up running and ran my first 10k road race, this is the least fit I've been in a long time. It hasn't helped that I haven't run since my 10k back in September (excuses being - needing new shoes, rain, dark nights, snow) or that the gym I used to go to closed down and I haven't quite got round to joining another. But the upshot is that I am so out of condition - and I don't think I can just blame it on the 'flu either!

So when big sis and I went out snow shoeing at Cypress today, it was a bit sore on theold (sadly true these days!) muscles - the gluteal ones to be precise! But it was also very very pretty, so it was all worth it - and heck, I might even have kick started my body into wanting more exercise. You never know!

I don't think the foot wear will ever catch on though!

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